A Mortal Instruments Christmas Special
by Echo1317
Summary: A chapter a day until Christmas, showing how our favorite Shadowhunters and Downworlders prepare for the holiday! Swearing, Santa Cluse violence, and disasters included! Some OOC, random-ness ensues.
1. The One With The Demon Squirrel

**A/N** Hi! I know I really ought to be working on my other fics, but I couldn't resist: it's the Mortal Instruments Christmas Special! It's my first holiday season on FF, and I thought I'd do something special for it... like a Christmas special! One chapter a day until Christmas.

For this, the only thing I'll point out is that the Shadowhunters (Alec, Jace, Isabelle) don't know what Christmas is. I realize that it might not be all that likely, but this whole thing started off with the idea for chapter 7, which would require them not knowing about it. Also, the pairings I'm using are Clary/Jace, Isabelle/Simon, and Alec/Magnus. I might do a little Mayres/Robert at the end of chapter 9.

This is totally an OOC fic, but I think it's pretty funny anyway. Enjoy!

**

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Chapter 1: The One With The Demon Squirrels**

"On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me!" Isabelle sang at the top of her lungs, hopping down from the stool she was standing on and doing a quick twirl that sent her obscenely short skirt fly out. Jace rolled his eyes, hauling in a large box marked 'GARLANDS' in Clary's messy scrawl. Clary was sitting on the floor, surrounded by other boxes full to the brim with Christmas decorations. It had been her idea to celebrate Christmas, a holiday that the Shadowhunters were very vague on, and since it was only twelve days away, she'd been put in charge of the briefing and set up.

"Alec and Magnus are here with the tree," Jace said, "I still don't understand what would posses anyone to put foliage inside."

"Forget the technicalities!" Isabelle ordered, reaching up to put a piece of mistletoe in the doorway, "Get in the spirit!"

"It is kinda weird, though," Alec admitted, walking through the other entrance to the living room with his hands shoved in his pockets, "Green stuff should stay outside where it belongs."

"Now, now, Alexander, don't insult the season," Magnus said with a smirk, surveying the mess that had been created. There was one clear spot in the corner, reserved for the tree. "That should be just big enough." With a snap of his fingers, Magnus made a huge pine tree appear, dressed up with a string of multi-colored lights and a bright star on top. Isabelle and Clary squealed with delight, and even Alec looked slightly awed. Jace, however, noticed something quite out of the ordinary.

"What the- squirrel!" He shouted, pointing to a branch of the very top of the tree where a small, sleepy head was peeking out of the greenery. At the sound of Jace's loud, jarring voice, it's eyes widened in alarm and it jumped from its perch, landing on one of the tall boxes near Clary. She screamed, scrambling to get up and get out of it's way. One of the boxes toppled over, and a resounding crash was heard as their contents shattered.

"Get it out!" Isabelle screeched, flinging herself out of the room. Alec attempted to do so, lunging for the squirrel, only to trip on a piece of garland that was strewn over the floor. Magnus sent a blue flame in the direction of the squirrel, but missed several times, hitting various pieces of furniture. He cursed.

"Demon squirrel! Demon squirrel!" Jace yelled, picking up a large book from the coffee table and throwing it at the offending creature. The thing only darted faster around the room, desperately searching for a way out.

"Here squirrelly, squirrelly!" A new voice coaxed, leading the squirrel to a newly opened window. It flew out, jumping to the branch of the tree just outside. The window was slammed shut, leaving everyone to stare at their savior.

"Thank the Angel!" Isabelle breathed, reentering the room. She pecked Simon on the cheek, then tapped on the glass window pane as if to make sure the squirrel couldn't get back in.

"That's what I'm here for, I guess," Simon said cheerfully, scratching the back of his head uncertainly, "It looks like a tornado blew through here."

"That would be the work of Demon Squirrel, thank you very much," Jace said indignantly, shooting a wicked glare at Magnus, "How are you even in here, anyway?"

"You're welcome, Jace, it's nice to know I'm appreciated," He replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He pointed to the Mark on his forehead. "It makes me special."

"H-hey, guys?" Clary said quietly, causing all heads to turn her way. She was staring at the tree. "I'm not imagining that, right?"

Everyone backed away slowly as the innumerable squirrels still in the Christmas tree narrowed their beady red eyes.

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Haha, demon squirrels. I *may* have borrowed this idea from Christmas Vacation, but I promise that the other chapters are better. Please review!

-Echo1317


	2. The One With The Glass Ornaments

A/N

Here's chapter 2!

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Chapter 2:

The One With The Glass Ornaments

The day after the 'demon squirrel' incident, things were back in working order at the Institute. The tree was left bare, at Clary's insistence, since her favorite part of Christmas had always been decorating the tree. Magnus had complied, even though he knew he could very easily have the entire tree trimmed in a matter of seconds.

"What's that?" Jace asked quietly, stepping into the living room and taking care not to step on any of the many boxes that littered the floor and were stacked waist high, their delicate contents wrapped in tissue paper. Clary giggled as he attempted to navigate amongst the obstacles, standing on his toes and trying to keep his balance by madly flapping his arms around.

"Ornaments," Clary explained. She gestured towards the large green thing behind her, "For the tree."

"Why?" He asked, curiously cocking his head to the side and reminding Clary of Simon's cat when there was a new toy being dangled in front of her. He picked up one of the ornaments, examining the brightly colored glass with interest.

"I don't know," She shrugged, reaching to place a blue bauble near the top of the tree, "Google it."

"You want me to do _what_ to it?" Jace half shouted in alarm, almost dropping the ornament in his haste to look up at Clary. She giggled again, forgetting that her boyfriend had no idea about what Google was.

"We're going to have to teach you about the internet soon," Clary laughed, shaking her head and unwrapping another ornament. Jace, not knowing whether to be offended or not, opted to rummage through more of the boxes. After a few moments of searching and listening to Clary hum yet another new holiday tune, he found a long rectangular box at the bottom of one of the piles. He peeked inside, then opened it, pulling out a figurine with the most lovely face.

"Oh! You found the angel," Clary exclaimed, watching Jace's awed expression as he studied the tree topper tentatively. She slowly walked over and Jace handed her the doll. It's face was perfectly molded out of the porcelain, the folds of its' golden dress shimmering and giving it the illusion of movement, as if it were floating. "Me and mom used to put this up every year, it was the last thing we did when we were decorating." Clary's face slowly fell, her serene smile slipping to give way to a sad expression. "Of course, Mom's in Idris with Luke this year…"

"It's your first Christmas without your mom, huh?" Jace said, wrapping his arms around her and resting his chin on her head. She sighed against his chest, holding the angel like she used to hold her favorite doll (that, incidentally, was her favorite Christmas gift for five years running).

"Yeah," She said, her voice muffled, "But I look at it this way- if I don't get to spend it with her, at least I get to spend it with the other people I love most."

"I love you, Clary," Jace whispered. He slowly tilted her head up with his finger, pressing his lips firmly against hers.

Unfortunately, as Clary leaned into the kiss, Jace instinctively moved to lean back against the nearest flat surface, which happened to be the precariously stacked boxes right behind him. He stopped quickly when he realized what was happening, but it was too late to keep the boxes from falling over. They pulled apart, and both froze, their eyes popping open wide as the boxes displayed a domino effect, each one falling into the next and emitting a loud crashing sound. Finally, after what seemed like forever, the crashing stopped, and everything went silent.

They took in the scene without a sound, surveying the broken pieces of glass that littered the floor and the overturned boxes. Clary's eyes narrowed, and she raised her eyebrow at Jace, who smiled sheepishly. He could only think of one thing to say.

"Oops."

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Well, there goes the ornaments! That's no good. I really liked writing the part with Google, I laughed for like five minutes after I thought of it. :)

Reviews? Please?

-Echo1317


	3. The One With The Unforgettable Gift

A/N  
So sorry for not updating yesterday! I had to choose between this and homework, and I chose homework, because if I got an incomplete on that assignment, I couldn't go to our grade-wide Christmas party tomorrow, and I really wanna go! But to make up for it, you get two chapters today! (The next one will be posted shortly)

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Chapter 3:

The One With The Unforgettable Gift

Alec Lightwood was at a loss.

He knew what weapons to use against which demons. He knew which runes did what and how to use them to use them. He knew exactly the words to say to get Jace to stop before he did something stupid. And he knew he would never eat his sister's cooking under any circumstance.

But he did not know what to get Magnus for Christmas.

"Well, what kind of stuff does he like?" Isabelle asked, picking up a torn up t-shirt off a rack marked 'men's', drawn to it by its bright colors. After one look at the price tag, she hastily put it back. Alec shrugged, and she swatted his shoulder. "Come on, you spend more time with him than any of us!"

"If that's supposed to be a crack about me not spending time with you anymore, I ask you this: what am I doing _right now_?" He responded, earning himself another, harder swat, "Ow!"

"Right now you're desperately searching for a present for Magnus," She answered the question cheerily, shaking a nearby snow globe and watching the little pieces of white dance around the tiny house inside. "Did you _ask_ him what he wants?"

"No," Alec said, feeling his face heat up in embarrassment as Isabelle laughed, "He's my boyfriend, I'm already supposed to know this stuff…"

"But you don't, so you asked me," Isabelle finished for him. She took hold of his jacket and whisked him away from the cloths, headed for another department. Suddenly and without warning, Isabelle gasped and released him, dashing forward and picking up a box so brightly colored that Alec had to fight the urge to cover his eyes. "Oh my _angel_! It's perfect!"

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"Ok, so I think we're done," Alec announced as he and Isabelle made their way back to the Institute. He began to rattle off a list of all of the things they'd been able to cross off their list. "We got a skateboard and helmet for Jace, a drawing pad and pencils for Clary, manga books for Simon, and a scarf you picked out for me to give you."

"Hey, you left out the one that I picked out!" Isabelle complained, peeking inside one of the bags her brother was carrying. Alec rolled his eyes playfully.

"Oh yes, how _could_ I forget?" He said, pulling out the box wrapped in shiny rainbow paper, "Glitter for Magnus!"

"Fifty different colors, baby," Isabelle said, hooking her arm through Alec's and leading him the rest of the way home, "Fifty different colors…"

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Sorry this is kinda crappy, but I like the interaction between Alec and Izzy, and I had to include someone getting Magnus glitter for Christmas, because of a comment my mom made about some old tree ornaments I had made in first grade (I believe her exact words were "Magnus Bane would steal these.")

Review?

-Echo1317


	4. The One With The Vampire

**A/N** So so sorry for not actually updating yesterday! I swear I put up chapter 3, but it didn't work or something, and I feel so bad! My whole schedule has been off for a few days now, but I promise, promise, PROMISE that I will have two chapters up tomorrow to make up for what I missed! Again, so sorry!**

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**The One With The Vampire**

"How do you pronounce it again?" Isabelle asked for the fifth time, rummaging around in the pantry for the cooking oil she always kept handy. Simon chuckled at her willingness to learn, happy to answer her as many times as she needed.

"Lat-_ka _**(A/N** latka- a fried potato pancake, traditionally eaten around Hanukah**),"** He said, turning on the old gas stove and set the pan on it. Isabelle smiled and repeated the word over and over, trying to memorize it. She handed Simon the oil, which he poured into the pan, waiting for the satisfying sizzle. "Ok, you ready to learn how to make food?"

"Jace says that if I make it, it's not really food," She said with a frown. Simon stifled a laugh. "But maybe if you're the primary chef, he'll eat it."

"I'll take that as a yes," Simon said, smiling and trying to look confident as he attempted to inconspicuously steer her away from the heating oil and towards the cold ingredients. "It's pretty easy, so there's not even really much you could even mess up on.""That's good to know," Izzy muttered, picking up the knife her father typically used to cut up whole turkeys, "What's the first step?"

"Well, first you'll need to put that down, please," He said softly, hoping not to anger her enough that she would stab him with it, "And next, we'll get the eggs, potatoes, onions, flour, and salt."

"And we mix them together, right?" Isabelle asked, gathering the ingredients and pouring them all in the same bowl. Simon quickly talked her through the actual mixing process, and kept her well away from the now very, very hot oil. When the latkes were done frying, Simon put them on a plate and gave them to a very proud Isabelle, who was still under the impression that she had done most of the work in making them.

"Ah, food," Simon sighed happily, digging his fork into the potatoes, "I like food."

"I do agree that food is good," Isabelle giggled, clinking her loaded utensil against Simon's in a toast, "I bet these are the yummiest latkes ever!"

After one bite, they both found out that she could not have been more wrong.

"Oh my-" Simon choked, spitting the 'food' onto the floor as Isabelle let out a slight screech and tried to wipe her tongue clean with her napkin, "What the blind monks is the matter with this crap?"

"I don't know!" Isabelle wailed, looking close to tears as she went over the counter where the ingredients were still piled on the marble top, "Potatoes, onions, eggs, flour, salt- oh!" She turned around with the large white bag in her hands and wet tracks rolling down her face. "It's sugar!"

"Don't cry, don't cry!" Simon insisted, hurrying to take the bag from her and wrap his arms around her, "It's ok, we can try again tomorrow!"

"I can't do anything right!" She sobbed into his shirt as he awkwardly patted her hair, "I can't even figure out which one is sugar and which one is salt!"

"It could happen to anyone, really," Simon assured her, "Once my mom accidentally left the rolls in the oven at Thanksgiving, but she never actually turned the oven on, and we didn't find them for a whole week. This is, like, nothing."

"Really?" Isabelle laughed shakily, wiping her eyes as her meltdown was quickly forgotten. She giggled, and Simon smiled, leaving his arm around her but pulling out of the hug.

"Absolutely. And besides," He smiled, knowing that Izzy would approve of his new idea, "We can try to feed these to Jace later and record his reaction…"

* * *

As for this one, nothing to do with Christmas, but I thought I'd like to do a Simon-Isabelle thing, so I had them cook together. Both weird kitchen mishaps have happened in my family, the sugar rather than salt in the latkes to me and the rolls in the oven for a week to my grandma (that was the year she got her microwave and basically abandoned the oven for it.).

I promise two chapters tomorrow, but right now I really need to get some sleep...

-Echo1317


	5. The One With The Christmas Card

**A/N **The next chapter is here! And the one after this will be here shortly!**

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**The One With The Christmas Card**

"What the hell is that thing doing here?" Alec asked, horrified at the sight of the living room. Isabelle had called everyone together, insisting that they wear nice cloths and meet her in the living room for 'something special'. Her brother was the first to arrive- and the first to see the camera she had set up.

"We're taking a photo for a Christmas card!" Isabelle explained cheerfully, dragging Alec to stand between the tree and the camera, "I saw them on the TV last night, so I thought we could make one and send it to Mom and Dad and Jocelyn and Luke!"

"Why?" Magnus whined, suddenly standing next to Alec with his hand on his hip, "Christmas cards are so tacky."

"We're doing a Christmas card," She insisted, making Magnus move to stand on the other side of Alec. Magnus rolled his eyes, taking to examining his nails as they waited for the others. After what felt like a very long time, mostly because Isabelle was humming _another_ new Christmas song, they were joined by Clary, who looked tired enough to fall asleep on her feet.

"No, no, no," She yawned as she saw the camera, "I am not taking a picture looking like this!"

"You look fine," Isabelle assured her, dragging her to stand in front of Magnus, "Just try to keep your eyes open, ok?"

"_Noooooo_," Clary sighed sleepily, "I spent all last night wrapping gifts with Simon, so I have bags under my eyes like his now. No sleep…" She trailed off, her eyes slipping closed and her resolve fading. Magnus had to put his hands on her shoulders to keep her upright as her head slumped to one side.

"Izzy, I think I need a new shirt," Jace complained as he walked in, wearing only pants and holding out what looked like a piece of doll clothing.

"What happened to your shirt!" Isabelle wailed, taking the scrap of cloth from him and holding it in front of her. Clary's eyes had opened and she was giggling like a little girl at the sight of her boyfriend. Jace shrugged.

"Shrunk in the wash?" He guessed, moving to stand on the other side of Alec, "We gonna take this picture or what?"

"Jace, you need a shirt!" Isabelle shrieked, throwing the cloth back and him and stomping her way to where he was standing.

"I disagree," Jace said confidently, smirking because he knew Clary was still watching him, "I don't really _need _a shirt, you just _want_ me to put one on. And I don't know why, I look good and you know it."

"Just take the damn picture already," Alec grumbled, unhappy that he had to have his picture taken anyway, "This one doesn't have to be perfect, we can try again tomorrow." Isabelle sighed through her nose, feeling her face getting red as she took a small step back to address the small crowd.

"No, we can't try again tomorrow," She explained through clenched teeth, "Mom, Dad, Jocelyn and Luke all took a portal this morning to Paris so that they could get the card through an email that will be sent _right_ when the picture is taken. Simon helped me set it up yesterday, and then stopped by this morning to put it on a timer. We get one shot at this, so at _exactly_ 2:00 when the timer goes off, we all have to look presentable and nice, or I swear to the Angel, I will-"

No one got to hear what she would do, because she stopped her tirade the second the flash went off behind her and the clock struck 2.

* * *

"We have mail!" Robert Lightwood announced excitedly, motioning for his wife and friends to join him around the computer. They were in a small café at present, eagerly awaiting their children's Christmas card. He clicked the button on the screen, and the picture appeared instantly.

"Oh, my," Mayres gasped, her hand flying to her mouth. Luke smiled so widely that his mouth hurt. Jocelyn couldn't help but begin laughing so heartily that some people turned to stare at her. The picture in front of them was what she had expected.

The middle of the picture was covered by Isabelle, who was facing away from them, although it was obvious by the red tint of her ears and her hands clenched into fists at her sides that she was angry. To her right was Alec, looking so miserable that you might think that his puppy had just died. Next to him was Jace, smiling like an idiot who had no idea he was bare-chested. On the left side of Isabelle was Magnus, a panicked look on his face as he tried to hold up Clary, who was falling forward, her eyes closed in near sleep.

"Looks like Christmas," Jocelyn said happily, wiping away the tears that had formed in her eyes as she continued to laugh.

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I'd hang that picture on the wall where everyone could see it! Jk, that sounds like one bad picture. Poor Isabelle, just trying to get everyone on the spirit (and failing miserably). I'm actually going to attempt drawing this and posting in on DeviantArt or something. I'll let you all know if I do.

Review, please. :)

-Echo1317


	6. The One With The Toy Store

**A/N **I am so sorry! I was at my cousin's house, without my laptop, without my stories. The next chapters will be up soon!**

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**The One With The Toy Store**

"Jace, what could you possibly need from a toy store?" Alec asked impatiently as his brother dragged him down yet another aisle filled with children's toys, "We actually have stuff to get done today!"

"I know, I know," Jace said, letting go of Alec's shirt and picking up one of the many action figures off of a nearby shelf, "But this is important, I need to decide what goes on my Christmas list!"

"At a _toy store_?" Alec said again, leaning forward and squinting at what looked like a cross between a dragon and a robot. He couldn't understand what any of these little things were supposed to be.

"Yeah, I'm making up for lost time," Jace sounded like he was farther down the aisle now, but when Alec looked up, he was nowhere to be seen. This was even more worrisome to Alec than if he was _watching _Jace do something horribly stupid- if he couldn't see him, he couldn't stop him. "Hey, think fast!"

"Hey!" Alec shouted in surprise as something small and hard hit his back. He turned around to find Jace smothering a laugh, holding a plastic gun in his hand. On the floor at his feet was a package that read 'NERF'. "You aren't supposed to open that unless you've paid for it!"

"I'll leave some money on the counter," Jace reloaded the toy with another suction-cup ended dart, taking aim and firing at Alec again. He shouted in pain but made no move to get out of the way, and boy did he look _pissed_. Jace laughed. "Dude, at least make some attempt at retaliation!"

"No!" Alec hissed, taking his eyes off Jace for only a second to make sure security wasn't about to throw them out, and when he looked back, Jace was gone again. "Come back here right now!"

"You sound like my mother," Jace whispered from somewhere on Alec's left, and he whipped around only to be hit by three more nerf darts. He cursed, giving Jace enough time to move positions, "No, actually, you sound like _your_ mother, which is so much worse, by the way."

"Jace, I'm not kidding, quit messing- son of a bitch!" Alec yelled as the next dart hit him- right in the eye.

"Oh, shit, sorry, sorry!" Jace said loudly, tossing the gun aside and running back to where Alec was standing, still looking surprised as he covered his eye with his hand. "Crap, are you ok?"

"We're going home," Alec growled, "Now."

"Can I just get one thing real quick?" Jace said quietly, suddenly quite serious, and maybe even a little nervous.

"It depends on what you want, because if it's that gun, I'll beat you with it," Alec threatened, getting a short chuckle from Jace. Jace pulled out something in a small plastic case, smiling sadly. Alec's face softened, and he lowered the hand that was covering his eye as he felt his eyes begin to water.

"I thought I'd get something for Max," Jace said softly, looking at the action figure in his hands, "I know he's not here or anything, but I keep thinking that he would've just loved all this Christmas crap, so…"

"That's a great idea," Alec whispered, crossing his arms over his chest and doing what he could to prevent himself from crying. He could see that Jace, too, was fighting tears. "Hey, Jace?"

When he looked up, Jace was hit square in the face with a nerf ball.

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I added more of a serious note at the end, cuz I always forget about Max, and I feel really bad about it!

If you review, you get some of Isabelle's virtual Christmas cookies! On second thought, that might be a reason not to review...

-Echo1317


	7. The One With The Mall Santa

**A/N** Another chapter, like I said! I hope to get one more up tonight, but it depends on whether I can stay awake long enough to write it...**

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**The One With The Mall Santa**

"Aren't you done with shopping yet?" Jace whined, loaded down with multiple bags that Clary had been loading up all morning. It was mid-afternoon, and all day at the mall (again).

"Almost," Clary assured him, checking a list that she pulled out of her pocket, "We still need to go get something for Isabelle."

"What about… a new blade?" Jace suggested, stopping in front of a store that held several hunting knives and novelty swords. Clary rolled her eyes.

"We're supposed to get mundane gifts, remember?" She told him, "I was thinking about a pair of Jimmy Choo's or something like that."

"Jimmy who? Isn't selling people illegal?" Jace inquired, trying to remember where he had heard that name before. Clary laughed, making him smile, but his bliss was short lived as he heard someone call to them from a few feet away.

"Why, hello little girl, how would you like to come sit on my lap?" A fat stranger in a red suit asked Clary. Jace frowned, dropping the bags and walking up to the bearded pervert with his hands curled into fists.

"What the hell, man? You can't talk to my girlfriend like that!" He exclaimed. The man stood up from the throne he had been seated on, holding up his hands and trying to calm Jace down. Jace didn't hear any of it, though, through the ringing in his ears, and before anyone could stop him, he took a swing at Santa.

"Jace!" Clary screamed, grabbing his arm before he could hit the poor man again. Santa had ended up flat on his back, moaning as blood began to rush from his nose. People were stopping to stare at the scene, one of them had even gotten out a cell phone to call the police. Jace was still fuming as Clary pulled him away from the crowd, scooping up their bags and trying to smile innocently as they hurried away from the scene.

"Hey, I wasn't done with that guy!" Jace huffed, slowing down as they rounded the corner, out of the people's line of sight. Clary sighed and let him go, closing her eyes and trying to decide whether to scream, cry, or laugh.

"That was Santa Clause, Jace," She explained, deciding that laughter would probably cause her the least trouble, "We're _supposed_ to sit on his lap. It's like a whole big thing, you sit on Santa's lap and tell him what you want for Christmas."

"Oh," Jace said, his frown deepening as he realized his mistake, "Well, why didn't you tell me that earlier?"

"Oh, silly me, I just kind of assumed you weren't going to punch out a random guy in a Santa costume," Clary giggled, rolling her eyes, "You know, I bet you get a lump of coal in your stocking."

"Yeah, right," Jace laughed, taking some of the bags out of Clary's hands, "You know, I've been thinking, and this Santa guy sounds kinda like a creepy stalker. I mean, you know that song, 'He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake'?" As Clary laughed, he shrugged. "I don't know what it's supposed to mean, but it seems pretty scary to me."

"I guess if you look at it that way," Clary said, cuddling into Jace's side for warmth as he put his arms around her, "Then I'm glad you punched him."

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I didn't like this one as much as some of the others, but I thought Jace made a pretty good point. You know, I was trying to remember the words to 'Santa Clause Is Coming To Town', and it ended up as 'Frosty the Snowman'. They sound really similar in my head...

-Echo1317


	8. The One With The Sweater

**A/N** Here's chapter 8! **

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**The One With The Sweaters**

"You have _got _to be kidding me," Magnus said, holding up the piece of fabric in front of him with two fingers, as if afraid to touch it more, "Isabelle, darling, you know I love you, but I am not wearing this."

"Come on," Isabelle pleaded, taking the sweater from him and holding it up to examine, "It's not that bad. Plus, if you wear it, Alec is more likely to wear his!"

"Christmas sweaters are so clichéd, though," He countered, wearily eyeing the bright red _thing_, "I'm not even sure this is a sweater. Why is there something hard glued to it?"

"It's Rudock's nose," Izzy said, gently flicking the red piece of plastic, "It's cute."

"First of all, it's Rudolph," Magnus reminded her, poking the 'sweater' and hoping it didn't growl at him, "And second, even with as precious as you are, I don't think you quite grasp the concept of cute."

"I understand cute, ok? I _know_ cute. This is… a different kind of cute," She amended, stroking the brown faux-fur of Rudolph's coat, "I like it."

"Sorry, love, but I don't," Magnus said, placing a hand on his hip, "Not to mention how itchy that damn wool is."

"It's nor that bad!" She insisted, "Please, Magnus? Please, please, please? Just for the picture?"

"You said nothing about a picture before!" He exclaimed, dropping the cheery green sleeve he'd been looking at like it was on fire, "That's a double incentive not to wear it!"

"You're a killjoy," Isabelle complained, tossing the sweater on the couch and beginning to walk away. Her shoulders shook, and when she spoke again, her voice cracked. "I just want us all to have a nice, traditional Christmas, with bad sweaters and weird gifts, and a big dinner at the end of the day…"

_"Please_ with the waterworks," Magnus rolled his eyes at the obviously fake display of emotion, "You think I haven't seen you use that before?"

"Fine," Isabelle responded, her voice suddenly stony as she straightened up. Magnus was taken aback by her sudden change in demeanor; she usually tried to keep up the tears for a few moments. With her back still to him, she continued speaking in a slightly scary voice. "You don't have to agree to this." He almost sighed with relief- until she turned around and met his gaze with her whip in her hands, a crazy smile on her face, and a mischievous glint in her eye. "I can always make you."

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"Isabelle?" Alec called anxiously down the hall, "Why is my boyfriend tied up on our couch with a gag in his mouth?"

"Because," Isabelle said happily, making him jump as she silently appeared behind him, a camera in her hands. She walked past him and Magnus began writhing in his bindings as she approached. "He didn't want to wear his Christmas sweater."

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Isabelle is probably OOC here, but I thought it might be fun to do crazy Izzy. Like my grandma's cat! (Her name is Izzy, she likes to jump on people as they walk past the couch)

-Echo1317


	9. The One With The Specials

**The One With The Specials**

"Frosty, Rudolph, the Grinch," Jace rattled off, looking at the DVD's Clary had brought from Luke's apartment, "All of these Christmas people have weird names."

"Charlie Brown is pretty normal," Alec commented, snuggling deeper into Magnus's side on the love seat. The gang was gathered together yet again, preparing to have an all-night marathon of classic Christmas specials, and currently waiting on Isabelle and Simon to bring the hot chocolate and cookies (store bought, thankfully).

"God help that poor, disturbed boy if that's the only normal thing about him," Magnus said, grinning in a cat like manner as Izzy and Simon returned, the former looking flushed and both more than a little happy.

"Everybody ready?" Simon coughed, sitting down and pulling Isabelle into his lap as soon as she set down the tray of food. Alec looked on reproachfully as Simon kissed his sister's shoulder and she giggled, blushing even more.

"I am _right_ here," He reminded Simon, who gave him an apologetic look and slid Isabelle to the seat next to him. He slung his arm around her, pulling her so close that she may as well have still been sitting on him. The flat look on Alec's face remained, even though he looked away.

"And you guys think we're bad," Jace snickered, sitting down on the floor next to Clary, who curled up next to him and tossed the blanket she was under over his lap. He happily accepted her warmth, shivering even though he wasn't cold- he just wanted to get closer to her.

"You're bad in a different way," Isabelle said, twining her arms around Simon's neck and never allowing her eyes to leave his face as she elaborated, "For example, what the hell was that that I heard coming from your room at one in the afternoon-"

"Let's start the movie, please," Alec interjected, fumbling to press the play button on the remote control before the conversation got any more… personal. Magnus chuckled at his squeamishness. The screen faded to black, and everyone glued their eyes to the TV as the program started.

* * *

"Rudolph the red nosed reindeer, you'll go down in history…"

Alec stirred just slightly, careful not to disturb a sleeping Magnus as he got up to turn off the DVD. He stepped around Clary and Jace, curled up against the couch, tangled up in each other's arms. He glanced at Isabelle and Simon, the latter of which was snoring softly. They'd almost made it though all of the shows before falling asleep, leaving Alec the last one up. He carefully pressed the 'off' button on the TV, gasping slightly as he felt fingers brush against his arm.

"Wanna move this party up to your room?" Magnus purred in his ear, wrapping his arms around Alec's waist. Alec slowly turned around, locking his arms around his boyfriend's neck and gently pressing his lips against Magnus's. Magnus laughed quietly. "I'll take that as a yes."

* * *

**A/N **Yes! Four minutes to midnight, and I am completely caught up with this story! Happy day. This chapter was fun to write, I hope you liked reading it. :)

-Echo1317


	10. The One With The Cookies

A/N

Sorry! Computer problems. Here's for yesterday...

* * *

The One With The Cookies

(or lack there of)

"I like this stuff," Jace announced, dipping his finger into the cookie dough and the popping it in his mouth, "It's all… cookie-like."

"That would be because it's cookie dough," Isabelle informed him, slapping his hand away from the bowl she was working with. He feigned hurt, pouting in a childish way until her back was turned and he took some more. "Jace!"

"This is better than the actual cookie," He told her, flashing a smile when she frowned, "Which you will inevitably burn."

"You want good, unburned cookies?" Isabelle asked, finally a bit fed up with how he patronized her cooking skills, "You make them."

With that, she threw the apron she had been wearing at him and stormed out of the kitchen. For a moment Jace stared after her, thinking she might change her mind and come back. A few scoops of cookie dough later, he guessed she was gone for good; he shrugged and put on the apron. Looking around the kitchen, Jace realized just how much of a mess it had become, and how impossible it would be to find any sort of pan or foil to bake the cookies on.

"Well that's just too bad," He smiled, taking off the apron and sitting down on a stool at the counter. He picked up a spoon and dug into the dough once again.

* * *

"What the hell happened in here?" Clary asked the seemingly empty kitchen. There were dishes stacked high in the sink; pans, pots, skillets, and other kitchenware littered the floor. The fridge was open wide and unplugged, even though there was still food inside it. The island in the middle of the room was piled with empty bowls that looked like they had once contained cookie dough. From behind the island, there came a moan.

"Clary?" Jace said from the floor as she came around the corner. He was sprawled on the ground on his back, looking pale and sickly. She gasped and kneeled down by his head and pulling him into a sitting position. He winced, wrapping his arms around his stomach.

"What happened to you?" Clary said worriedly as Jace leaned back against the counter. He looked at her through his long, gold lashed, a guilty look plastered on his angel face.

"I ate the cookie dough," He said quietly. The concerned look left Clary's face as her eyebrows shot up.

"You ate the cookie dough?" She asked, and Jace nodded slowly, knowing that if he moved his head any faster, there was a good chance he'd throw up on her, "How much?"

"All of it," Jace moaned, laying back down on the cool tile and putting his head in Clary's lap. He frowned as she shook with barely repressed laughter. "It's not funny! I'm sick."

"I know, I know, it's not," Clary said seriously, running her fingers through his hair, "But I kinda thought you'd have more sense than to eat _all_ the cookie dough. Especially Isabelle's cookie dough."

"Oh crap!" Jace said, "Isabelle's gonna kill me when she finds out!"

"I'll miss you," Was all Clary could choke out before bursting into laughter.

* * *

... and today's chapter will be up shortly!

-Echo1317


	11. The One With The Crappy Gifts

**The One With The Crappy Gifts**

"_I don't give a damn bout my bad reputation!_"

Simon's phone sounded from the bedside table, causing him to stir from his slumber. He fumbled with the buttons, pressing almost everything else before her finally found 'talk'. "_You're living in the past, it's a new generation-_"

"What the hell, Jace?" Simon answered sleepily, realizing from the clock on the wall that it was only eleven thirty, and the light from the TV that he had left it on. He sat up, stretching.

"Asleep already, grandpa?" Jace asked humorously, "Better wake up, 'cause I need a favor."

"And calling me grandpa was the right way to go about getting to that?" Simon snorted, although he was now so awake that there was no possible way he'd be able to get back to sleep soon, and he'd end up helping Jace anyway, "What do you want?"

"Can you pick me up and take me to the gas station?" Jace's request was met with such a long silence that he thought Simon might've hung up, "Hello?"

"Yeah, I'm here," Simon said in a bemused voice, "Before I agree to this, can I ask why you need to go to the gas station at eleven o clock on Christmas Eve?"

"I need to get everyone's gifts," He explained as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. Simon couldn't help from laughing out loud, and he could almost hear the frown in Jace's voice when he said, "Hey, I'm in a real predicament here!"

"Okay, one: predicament? Who uses that word?" Simon asked, still chuckling, "And two: with all the times you've been to the mall, you honestly haven't gotten anything for anyone?"

"…"

"I'll be there in ten minutes."

* * *

"Do you have any ideas for what I could get everyone?" Jace asked, looking through at the three shelves with novelty and travel items carefully. Simon shrugged, picking up a chapstick with glitter in it.

"Magnus might like this," He offered, handing the tube to Jace. He grabbed a glow in the dark bracelet and thrust that at him, too. "That for Isabelle. And for Alec… a flashlight?"

"A flashlight sounds good," Jace took one off the shelf, "What do you want?"

"You know, I'll just let you surprise me," Simon said in an amused voice, covering his eyes with his hands. He heard Jace take something off the shelf. "Hey, what are you gonna get Clary?"

"I already have Clary's present- I got her a box," Jace wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, "You know what's gonna be _in_ the box?"

"You are not doing that," Simon said flatly, lowering his hands to his side and giving Jace a completely serious look, "No. I knew I never should've showed you that Saturday Night Live clip."

"You're no fun," Jace teased, backtracking to look at the products again. He picked up a something that was hanging from a string. "Car freshener!"

"She doesn't have a car, but ok," Simon smirked, following Jace to the checkout counter. The attendant looked at them quizzically.

"Is this all for you today?" The woman asked pleasantly, ringing up the items. Jace gave her a quick yes and an angelic smirk. Once they'd paid and gotten back to the car, Jace looked at Simon excitedly.

"You wanna know what I got you?" He asked, opening the bag before Simon could respond.

"Sure," The vampire conceded, turning just slightly so he could see what Jace was holding up better. He and Jace both laughed at the miniature vampire figure wrapped in plastic.

* * *

**A/N **I have to admit, the idea for this came from an episode of Friends (season 2, episode 9, 'The One With Phoebe's Dad'. I'm a Friends geek.).

If you don't get the reference to the box Jace bought Clary for Christmas, it's a thing from a Saturday Night Live digital short with Justin Timberlake and Adam Samberg called 'D*** In A Box'. It's absolutely ridiculous, and horribly crude, but it's funny. :)

Happy Christmas Eve, everybody! See you all tomorrow!

-Echo1317

P.S. "It's just like Santa's workshop, except it smells like mushrooms and everybody looks like they wanna hurt me..." lol, I'm watching Elf, sorry! XD


	12. The One With The Disaster

**A/N **Sorry for not updating! Merry late Christmas!

I do have a good reason for being away, though, my aunt was in the hospital with the flu so on Christmas I was at my grandma's house with no laptop and I ended up spending a couple days there, then I was at my other aunt's house with my laptop but without internet for a few days, and now I'm home and watching Friends on DVD while my mom is baking something and telling me to turn down the tv and my dad is yelling at some sort of sport he's watching. Happy New Year's Eve, everybody!

**The One With The Disaster**

"The damn door is open!" Jace yelled angrily, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as fists pounded on his bedroom door at- he checked the clock- six in the morning. Isabelle opened the door, poking her head in and exclaiming with a cheery smile-

"It's Christmas!" She was already dressed, her long hair pulled back in a ponytail with a long branch of something festive and her torso covered by that horrible sweater she'd bought less than a week ago. "We have to have breakfast, and open presents!"

"Fine then," Jace mumbled, throwing the pillow back over his head, "Get out and let me get dressed."

"Nuh-uh," Isabelle disagreed, taking away the pillow and then crossing to the other side of the room to open the curtains wide. Jace groaned, covering his eyes. "We open presents in pajamas. Meet us in the living room in five minutes!"

A few moments later, Jace stalked into the living room, flopping down on the couch and sleepily watching Isabelle flit in and out of the room with burnt plates of cookies. He was vaguely aware of the smell of smoke coming from the kitchen, and he figured that if no one was screaming, it was probably under control. He had closed his eyes for almost literally one minute when he heard someone else enter the room, and felt them, sit down next to him. With one deep breath he could tell that it was Clary, her hair smelling like the white tea shampoo Isabelle had given her for her birthday.

"Good morning," She yawned, snuggling into his chest as he put his arm around her, "Izzy took my clock, what time is it?"

"Almost seven?" Jace guessed, not opening his eyes as someone else came into the room. He knew them by the sound of their footsteps, which were almost silent as they crossed to the chair. "Hey, Simon."

"Morning," By the sound of his voice, he had been asleep, too.

"Has anyone seen Alec?" Magnus asked, seeming to appear out of thin air as he was suddenly in the doorway, "I've looked all over and I can't find him anywhere."

"He got up at five and told me he was going out," Isabelle said, rolling her eyes , "Something about a last minute gift?"

"Yep- for me!" Jace's eyes snapped open wide as Alec stumbled into the room, a clear bottle of booze in his hand. He had an incredibly goofy grin on his face, and he was still wearing a snow soaked jacket even though he was dripping water all over the floor.

"Alec!" Isabelle shrieked, grabbing the bottle from him as Jace burst into laughter, "For the Angel's sake, it's Christmas!"

"Exactly! Merry Christmas to me, merry Christmas to me," Alec began singing to the tune of happy birthday in a very off-key voice. Magnus smirked, and even Clary giggled a bit at the usually perfect and together boy who was now swaying from side to side. "The house smells like smo-oke! Merry birthday to me!" Simon tried to disguise his laugh as a cough as Alec hiccoughed and then looked around as if someone else had made the startling noise. "Wha's at?"

"That's you, darling," Magnus told him, leading him to the love seat and sitting him down, "And now that you mention it, the house does have a little bit of a _burned_ odor to it…"

"Oh, that's just my-" Isabelle stopped in the middle of her sentence, her eyes widening in alarm, "It's my dinner!" With that, she ran from the room.

"I guess this is a good a time as any," Simon muttered, shrugging and then raising his voice so that the others in the room could hear him, "You know how everybody put their presents in Eric's van so that no one would cheat and open them before today?" There was a nod. "Well, Eric's mom used his van to take a bunch of gifts to some charity thing over at her church, and she wasn't really able to tell the difference between her stuff and ours so…" Everyone gave him a blank stare. He sighed. "So, Eric's mom gave all our stuff to the charity."

"I killed the turkey!" Isabelle exclaimed, running back into the room with a pan in her oven mitt clad hands. On it was what looked like a burnt, shriveled pigeon carcass. Her lower lip was quivering dangerously, and no one dared to break the silence and alert her to the gift situation. "I killed it!"

"It could be worse!" Clary assured her, gesturing towards the tree, "At lease we still have the tree, right?"

"And the presents," Isabelle brightened up, quickly growing suspicious when no one would look her in the eye, "Well, shit!" She dropped the pan to the floor, frowning and putting her hands on her hips. "This has all gone to hell, hasn't it? We've got no food, no presents, and apparently no Alec, either-" A small snore came from the now passed out teenager. "-Jace is half asleep-" Jace's eyes fluttered open, and then quickly closed again. "-Clary's got her shirt on backwards _and _inside out-" Clary looked down to see the tag sticking up under her chin. "-Magnus doesn't even realize that he only has glitter on one eyelid-" With a startled cry, the warlock's hands flew to his face. "-and Simon's wearing a t-shirt that says Extra Cheese!" Simon looked down, unable to find anything wrong with what he was wearing. Isabelle waved her arm and wailed, "What does that even mean?"

"Look, this can still be a good Christmas!" Clary attempted to console her, looking around for good Christmas things, "The tree, the decorations, the snow-"

"Snow!" Jace yelled, rushing to the window along with everyone else (minus Alec). He pressed his nose up against the glass, smiling widely as his breath fogged up the glass. "It's snowing."

"See? Good things happen," Simon whispered in Isabelle's ear, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her cheek. She giggled softly, all thoughts of her 'ruined Christmas' forgotten. Magnus set his hand on Clary's shoulder and she grinned up at him. He winked conspiratorially. Large white flakes fell from the sky, frosting up the window pane and making the trees outside look magical. They all crowded around the window, watching in awe. Very faintly, they heard Alec waking up, and the sound of him vomiting all over Isabelle's 'nice, finally clean floor'. Everyone just kept smiling as Magnus sighed, walking back to his boyfriend. Simon laughed. "_Now_ it's Christmas!"

* * *

My new theme song is 'Merry Birthday To Me'. ;)

-Echo1317


End file.
